You're right. I'm a terrible player. But let's turn it around a little. What makes you so special? And funny I don't remember receiving a single im or pm or anything to my face saying people were quitting over how much I suck. Of the people who have left MM that wasn't over wank that YOU anons personally caused and you know it; they all seem to have found happy homes elsewhere and/or lost interest in RPing/real-life things period. Funny stuff that. In conclusion. I don't care. I'm not going to go whine to a wankfest about how a bunch of chickens don't like me. I spent the last 8 months trying to appease you but somehow you got worse. Why? Did I kick your mother in the groin? Honestly all this because you don't like how I play my characters? Why didn't you just ask me to LEAVE YOU ALONE? ESPECIALLY since I made that exact public offer dozens of times over. I said no one HAD to post to me if they didn't want me to and if they wanted to not recieve comments from character x, y, or z all they had to do was ask. And if you didn't get that message I doubt you eve really RPed with me at all, just stalked.

I never expected to be more than half-liked at MM but I am. And that makes me really happy. I didn't see the comments or the secret or any of it because I'm staying far far away but I heard lots of people stuck up for me so if you did, thanks. I really mean it it makes me feel better.

And now for some perspective which I feel is desperately needed.
( Kopper and Drift are smart )



-- Maybe I am really off. Maybe my best isn't good enough for you because you're all better than me but I always tried to keep up and have fun with everyone anyway. I'm sorry that you're better and I bring you down but if you can't bring me up, don't try to squash me under your heel. I'm stronger than THAT much at least and I don't stand for it. Because even if you were magically the best RPer in the world if you have to make people feel like crap over it, what's the point? I don't RP to be the best. Maybe that's wrong of me. I RP to have fun with my friends and anyone else willing to have fun with me. If you can have fun, go do something that is. I know I do. <3



-- I don't know who you are, who you play, what I did to you or didn't do, but frankly I don't think neither you nor me care at this point. If you're still holding onto all that rage you should consider enlisting in the army or doing something productive with it. Anger management classes or something. In the meantime, thanks to everyone who always made me feel on top of the world. Kyle, Faye-Faye, Drift, Mia, Em, Leone, Lover, Natalie, Robin, Britt, Mags, Jensu, Mango, Sparky, Shichi, Moosey, and lol I could be here all day listing people. But thanks everyone. You know who you are. Anons, I hope you can find peace because you're right, I'm too arrogant to find that your bitching at me means I have to tailor my entire playing style to fit requests some of which I never recieved. Particularly when if you remember that first secret? I fixed all of those. I tried. Now your turn to try growing up and handling the real world like a sane person.

Current Mood: thankful
Current Music: I Got a Pocket Full of Sunshine

( You are about to view content that may only be appropriate for adults. )

Tags: smoker solo, smoker/karen

( singing~ )

Current Mood: complacent

Still gotta work out Christmas lists of to buy. Moosey's usually easy but harder this year.

BEFORE THANKSGIVING!! I have to go clothes shopping *rolls around* but on the bright side, hopefully finding pj pants and sweatshirts will be involved.

Migraines suck. Really really. Lately my head feels like it's on fire on the top and pressing out on the sides. It's unique. Wish I knew what was different but WHATEVER. S'all cool.

Allergies are doing better \o/! I should start getting more easy to make foods though. And test how well I can do Kraft Mac and Cheese. Or Annie's Mac and Cheese even.

With regards to writing:
CP9 drabbles done!
CP9 ficlet -- UNFINISHED! Work ooooon before Xmas
Marco/Ace Superman -- UNFINISHED! Work on as moody
Smoker/Ace fics -- really? I guess I can officially consider this sort of an OTP since it's been what? 5 years I think. Holy cow.
MM fic -- well I won't get the assignment until the 25th but weeeee *wiggles*

With regards to RP:
Damn I love playing Fujiko. I love all 3 but Fujiko is the easiest to "forget" how much I love. Especially when I'm down and running away from RPing and people in general. But the minute I do she's just THERE and we click almost effortlessly even if it's on a really hard tag where I'm assembling stuff she says across 5 different episodes. It's always fun with her. It's always fun in general but I get much more insecure about Smoker & Ace mostly just because of less canon =\ Lame of me.
- SO FREAKING EXCITED FOR ADD DAY *_* Zenigata, Goemon, Mat eeeeeeeeeeeeee
- I really should make an icon of "mischievous" Ace

Fandom pairings:
Guh Marco = alkdsjalskjdalksjd. That is all.

I love rain. It's the only times I really want to see "sunrise" because it's so pretty. Especially when it's that nice dark GREY NOVEMBER RAIN. Mmm this is why November is my 2nd favorite month of the year. Even more than December. Shockingly.

I want to write poetry but fuck that. I'm going to sleep.

I miss Kyle. I'm gonna go snuggle my Kyle bear *SIGH*

Current Mood: mischievous
Current Music: Ain't no sunshine when she's gone

Weeeee because I haven't updated my to-buy list in a year and it's getting messy.

CDs:
Five for Fighting
- Slice (comes out: 10/13/09)

Moxy Fruvous:
- C Album

One Piece http://www.amazon.com/One-Piece-Japanimation/dp/B00005QWFR/ref=wl_itt_dp?ie=UTF8&coliid=I2WGJLVKZCSUKZ&colid=3DW6D7WOBDE2N

Styx: Greatest Hits

Kansas: Best of

Hammerfall -- Any of their cds. Note to self though: Not migraine safe.

Paul Desmond:
- Bridge Over Troubled Water
- Take Ten

Great Big Sea:
- Sea of No Cares
- Something Beautiful

Billy Joel:
- Streetlife Serenader

Dragonforce: Any of their cds. Also not migraine safe.

Akeboshi:
- Meet Along the Way http://www.cdjapan.co.jp/detailview.html?KEY=ESCL-3023
- Yellow Moon http://www.cdjapan.co.jp/detailview.html?KEY=ESCL-2811


Games:
Ghostbusters for DS http://www.amazon.com/Ghostbusters-Video-Game-Nintendo-DS/dp/B000ZKBJXM/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=videogames&qid=1252464484&sr=8-1
Kingdom Hearts for DS (Release date: 9/30/09)
Miles Edgeworth: Perfect Prosecutor (Release date: 2/19/10)



Manga list to come because I fail.

Current Mood: flirty
Current Music: I get a kick out of you

So. The usual. As always she remains determined to screw up everyone else schedules. And of COURSE her own.

Step 1: I've missed acupuncture 2 months in a row now which anyone who knows me knows = intense pain. Why? Because she's apparently had her period non-stop and the medicines she's on to fix that aren't helping. Magically. :| SO. Let's review. Her whole constantly wanting to be in the hospital hypchondria + meds = poison schitzophrenia? Yeah. That persists.

Step 2: I finally get an acupuncture appointment and wonder of wonder miracle of miracles even though it's the first day without waiting almost another month he can do, it MAGICALLY then becomes the day she has to go back to school. Sucks to be me because according to INSANE sister, she only has a 5 hour windowframe that absolutely MUST be done during that time. I asked my Mom to double check, a lot. Because since when do colleges only make you check in during 5 hours on ONE DAY of an entire year and nothing else. Sounds fishy.

Step 3: Boyfriend goes back to Long Island today. Laura begs to go with. None are surprised, all refuse because she's got all her going back to school crap in the car + his suit case + himself = no fucking room for someone of her extreme size. Yeah.

Step 4: Let's see. How on Earth could she mess this one up when he already delayed a little from a hurricane? Well since when will Laura be outdone by hurricanes. Uh-huh. So he calls her doctor saying she's still bleeding omfg and what should she do~~~? Doctor tells her they fucking switched prescriptions a DAY ago and give it some fucking time. Laura decides she has to go to the HOSPITAL anyway. :| She tries to call my Mom who is keeping her cell phone off because who wants to deal with 15 calls a day from my sister? No one. NO ONE. So instead she asks ME for my bf's cell phone number. :| :| No. I tell her no. She found it anyway. I ask why, all she would say is that Mom's keeping her cell phone off which I already knew.

Oh well, since when are off cell phones specifically to avoid my sister a deterrant to her? She calls my bf and has the discussions that was apparently super private in front of me ANYWAY even though I'd rather she didn't. :| So she calls to say she's scheduling a doctor appointment tomorrow morning and will have to delay going to school a couple hours.

Step 5: HUH!?!?! Whooooa. HOLD IT. What the fuck happened to all the "omfg but I CAN'T delay it at all!!!!!! Or move it up! Waaaah wah wah"? :| Yeah. :| So. When it comes to her being crazy. THEN it's movable. Oh. OF COURSE.

Step 6: Mom tells Laura to call her school on hours yet again. Presumably because they did as they CLAIMED and double-checked hours before and thus this is to remind Laura that no can do. Laura called the school. And here comes the kicker: Turns out check in to the school starts TODAY. Oh yes. It gets better of course. It starts today, has no specific hours of when it needs to end but Laura has to get there today because omfg she REALLY REALLY WANTS TO. :|

Step 7: Laura freaks out that she HAS to get there tonight and calls Mom back, ignoring the Dr. appointment she already made with the excuse of "No big deal I have one on Labor Day anyway" (the hell? then why were you going to push back tomorrow?!?!) and freaks out that my Mom is in CT. Well duh. Now I'd like to again point out if they'd done what they CLAIMED to do and double-checked, this would be a lovely non-issue.

Step 8: Laura bitched to my father about the injustice of Mom bringing my bf to the ferry when she has to go back to school EVEN THOUGH 2 fucking hours earlier she'd been insisting that she couldn't go UNTIL tomorrow :| :| And my Dad reminds her he told her this before. Told my MOM this before. Yes. He KNEW she COULD go back tonight and told them and they blew him off. I'm thrilled. So very thrilled.

---

Do I get to go to acupuncture tomorrow? Hypothetically yes. BUT at THIS point. I'm sure Laura will magically forget 95% of her stuff including forms and DEMAND my Mom rush over there to bring them to her with the insistence that it can't possibly wait another hour even though if it was that important she should be spending her time now to GET those forms together.

Mm-hm.

Current Mood: frustrated

This Is My Life, Rated
Life:	7.4
Mind:	6.8
Body:	5.9
Spirit:	9.6
Friends/Family:	7.4
Love:	9.2
Finance:	5.7
Take the Rate My Life Quiz

Why is spirit the highest? :| Seriously. Higher than family and friends and love?! REALLY!?!? o_O I don't even GO to church because of health :| This thing kind of fails *cough*

Current Mood: complacent

1.YOUR REAL NAME:
... C.C. Raymond because the other one sucks and I don't count it. <3

2.WITNESS PROTECTION NAME: (mother and fathers middle name)
Grace Patrick

3.NASCAR NAME: (first name of your mother's dad, father's dad)
Frank Frank. :| hahahahaha oh god.

4.STAR WARS NAME: (the first 3 letters of your last name, first 2 letters of your first name)
... And this is why I use my other real name because Couch. :| NO. RayCC

5.DETECTIVE NAME: (favorite color, favorite animal)
Silverwolf. :| Yeah. I'm a detective.

6.SOAP OPERA NAME: (middle name, town where you were raised)
Elaine Holden. Yeah that DOES sound soap opera-y.

7.SUPERHERO NAME: (2nd fav color, fav drink, add "THE" to the beginning)
The Silver Sprite!
All I can think of is Silver Slider, and the annoying Sprite mascot they used to have. Also. Fairies.

8.FLY NAME: (first 2 letters of 1st name, last 2 letters of your last name)
CCRa~ and ChCo

9.STREET NAME: (fav ice cream flavor, fav cookie)
Mint Chococolate chip chocolate chip

10.SKANK NAME: (first pets name, street you grew up on)
Shelly Windsor Ridge

11.GANGSTA NAME: (first 3 letters of first name plus 'izzle' )
Chrizzle and C.C.Rizzle

12.YOUR GOTH NAME: (black, and the name of one of your pets)
Black Shelly

13. STRIPPER NAME: (name of your fav perfume/cologne, fav candy)
Natural sour patch (omfg ew)

Tags: bored, meme
Current Mood: sleepy
Current Music: The Streeet Where You Live from My Fair Lady

This is currently the best order to read the chapters in. Too much is flashback because it's dreams so it jumps around a lot and I don't always write in the best order because I don't feeeeel like it. So this is the best way (currently) to read them. Enjoy. Or whatever.

( What order to read Smoker/Keitha Chapters in )

Current Location: Long Island
Current Mood: embarrassed

You Are an Ice Cream Cake

Surprising, unique, and high maintenance. You're one of a kind, and you don't want anyone to forget it. You're fun in small doses, but it's easy for people to overdose on you!

Current Mood: bouncy